10 Insane But True Things About Open Relationships

When you hear the words “open relationship,” what comes to mind? For many, it brings to mind key parties from the 1970s or celebrity scandals.

Open relationships, defined as romantic unions in which both parties consent to have romantic or emotional interactions with others, have existed for generations. 

Nonetheless, they are misunderstood and frequently stigmatized. 

In this modern society, where variety in all forms is increasingly valued, it’s time to take a deeper look at this unusual relationship style. 

Prepare to have your preconceived notions shattered as we explore ten insane but true things about open relationships. 

1. Open Relationships Are More Common Than You Think

When you imagine someone in an open relationship, you may envision a fringe group, perhaps young, metropolitan liberals in their twenties. 

But here’s an insane but true thing about open relationships: they’re far more common and diversified than most people think. 

While younger people are more likely to report being in open relationships, this is not limited to a certain age group.

Furthermore, open relationships exist across all educational levels, income categories, and political beliefs. 

This unbelievable but true thing debunks the misconception that open relationships are limited to a small segment of society. 

2. They Don’t Always Lead To Jealousy

One of the most typical responses to the concept of open relationships is, “I could never do that.” I’d be too jealous!” This is a valid assumption. 

After all, isn’t jealousy a natural reaction when your partner has an intimate relationship with someone else? 

Well, here’s another insane but true thing about open relationships: they don’t always lead to jealousy. 

In contrast, many people in open relationships report feeling the opposite: joy and fulfillment from their partner’s other relationships. 

This emotion is known as compersion. It is described as the happy sensations that arise while a partner is enjoying another relationship. 

Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, author of “The Polyamorists Next Door,” calls it “the opposite of jealousy.” 

Many people in open relationships report that seeing their partner happy with another person boosts their own happiness. 

It’s a bizarre but true component of open relationships that challenges our preconceived assumptions about romantic relationships. 

3. Communication Is More Important Than In Monogamous Relationships

In any relationship, effective communication is essential. 

But open connections are more than just important; they are very crucial. 

This is another insane but true thing about open relationships: they very much need more communication than monogamous ones. Why? Because all details must be discussed and agreed upon. 

In an open relationship, partners must set clear boundaries and rules. 

These can cover a variety of topics: Is it OK to have overnight stays with other partners? Are some people off-limits? How much do you want to learn about each other’s experiences? 

These details are not one-time discussions. Open couples usually check in on a frequent basis to ensure that both parties are still comfortable with the arrangement and to make any necessary adjustments. 

It’s an insane but true thing that many people in open relationships say they have more honest, regular, and in-depth conversations than they did in monogamous partnerships.

4. They Can Strengthen The Primary Relationship

If you’re like most people, you might believe that introducing new partners will undermine the bond between a couple. 

After all, isn’t love a limited resource? Won’t feelings for others reduce your feelings for your primary partner? 

Surprisingly, many people in open partnerships say the opposite. One of the most insane yet true aspects of open relationships is that they can actually strengthen the primary relationship. 

How is that possible? There are various explanations. 

First, having several partners relieves the pressure on any single individual to meet all of their partner’s requirements. 

No one person can be everything for another, intellectually, emotionally, or romantically. 

In open relationships, multiple persons can meet these needs, which reduces tension and resentment. 

Furthermore, seeing your mate through the eyes of others might rekindle appreciation and desire. 

Just as a friend of mine who has been in an open relationship for over three years once told me, “When I see how much others value my woman, it makes me cherish her even more.” It’s an insane but true thing that calls into question our mindsets about love and commitment. 

5. Open Relationships Can Also Be Platonic

Open relationships aren’t just only about romantic connections. Some open relationships prioritize emotional bonds over physical intimacy. 

Consider the concept of “platonic life relationships.” These are relationships in which two (or more) individuals choose to build a life together, sharing a house, finances, and long-term goals, while retaining the freedom to have romantic relationships with others. 

Consider “cuddle buddies” or “emotional affair partners,” in which the bond is highly intimate but does not violate romantic boundaries. It’s an insane but true thing that some people in open relationships prioritize emotional openness over romance.

6. They Can Last Longer Than Monogamous Relationships

There is a widespread assumption that open relationships are basically unstable. 

The perception is that they are a phase, a brief experiment that will either end in heartbreak or a return to monogamy. 

But here’s an insane but true fact about open relationships: they can last longer than many monogamous ones. 

While long-term research into this relationship style is still in its early stages, the findings are intriguing. 

According to a 2012 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, voluntary non-monogamous couples reported similar levels of commitment as monogamous couples. Some of the open relationships in the study lasted more than 20 years. 

Why might this be? Factors include the previously mentioned great communication skills, decreased emotions of being “trapped,” and the capacity to have needs addressed without ending the primary relationship. 

It’s an insane but true thing that challenges our assumptions about what makes a relationship thrive. 

7. They Are Not A Modern Invention

Many individuals see open relationships as a result of the romantic revolution of the 1960s and 1970s, or as a more recent phenomenon fueled by dating apps and changing social norms. 

But here’s an insane but true thing about open relationships: they are not a modern invention at all. 

In reality, they have existed throughout human history. Many ancient cultures did not practice monogamous relationships. 

In ancient Rome, for example, married men had romantic relationships with both male and female partners outside of marriage. 

The Mohave people of North America traditionally practiced a form of polyamory, which allowed women to have numerous husbands. 

Even in recent history, many renowned personalities have been known to engage in open relationships, including Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre, Frida Kahlo, and Diego Rivera. 

Open relationships have existed in human society for thousands of years, which is insane but true.

Read More: Who Initiates Open Relationships More? Men or Women?

8. They Do Not Always Mean “Anything Goes” 

Another common misconception regarding open relationships is that they are unrestricted, that once a couple decides to “open up,” there are no limits and everything is allowed. 

This could not be further from the truth. In fact, one of the insane but true things about open relationships is that open relationships usually have more rules and regulations than monogamous ones. 

Many open relationships include a comprehensive “contract” that specifies what is and is not permitted. 

This could include veto power, which allows either partner to say no to a potential relationship without reason. 

Some couples have a “hierarchy,” in which the primary relationship comes first and other relationships must not interfere. 

Rules can range from which romantic activities are allowed with others to how quickly you must respond to a text message from your primary partner. 

It’s an unbelievable but true thing that navigating an open relationship might feel more like following a legal document than an exciting journey. 

9. They’re Not Just For The Young Or Liberal

Given the progressive nature of open relationships, one may expect them to be practiced predominantly by young, liberal individuals in urban areas. 

But here’s another insane but true thing about open relationships: they span across age groups, political affiliations, and even religious backgrounds. 

While it is true that younger generations are more likely to report having open relationships, they are not the only ones. 

Many people learn about this relationship form later in life, sometimes after decades of traditional marriage. 

According to a YouGov poll in 2016, 36% of Americans aged 45 to 64 would consider having an open relationship. 

In politics, while liberals are more likely to accept consensual non-monogamy in theory, conservatives practice it at similar rates. 

Even among religious societies, open relationships exist. Some Mormon fundamentalists practice polygamy, and certain Pagan groups support various forms of nonmonogamy. 

It’s an insane but true thing that open relationships transcend many of our typical categories.

10. They Can Involve More Than Two Individuals

Most discussions regarding open relationships focus on a couple who have consented to see other people separately. 

But here’s one last weird but real thing about open relationships: they can expand to include more than two people in a closely connected unit. 

This is where open relationships frequently intersect with polyamory. 

While open relationships and polyamory are not the same, they can interrelate. 

Some open couples discover that they and their other partners build strong, long-lasting bonds. 

This can result in arrangements such as “triads” (three people in the same relationship), “quads” (four people), or even larger networks. 

In these scenarios, each person might have a slightly different relationship with the other person, but there is a sense of belonging to a bigger love unit. 

It’s an insane but true thing that some open relationships expand from couples to multi-partner families.

Conclusion

The world of open relationships is significantly more sophisticated, diverse, and well-established than most people know. 

From their surprising prevalence and historical roots to their potential for bonding and even building multi-partner units, there are many insane but true things regarding open relationships that challenge our conventional thinking.

It’s important to note that this article is neither a support nor a criticism of open relationships. 

Open relationships, like any other relationship style, present unique challenges and rewards. 

What works great for one marriage may be devastating for another. The key is to show respect and understanding. 

In a world that increasingly values diversity in all of its forms, race, gender, etc, isn’t it time we respect the differences in how people structure their most intimate relationships?

As you can see, many of our assumptions regarding open relationships don’t hold up when evaluated. 

They are not a recent aberration, but rather an age-old diversity in human connections. 

They are not limited to a single population, but rather to the entire society. Most crucially, they are not a danger to the institution of committed relationships, but rather an extension on what commitment can look like. 

Finally, these ten insane but true things about open relationships invites us to question our preconceived notions. 

They urge us to acknowledge that love, intimacy, and partnership can take many different forms. 

They do not undermine traditional relationships, but rather add to our understanding of the complicated, magnificent tapestry of human connection.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are open relationships really as common as the article suggests, or is this just a sensationalized claim?

This is a common skepticism. While it might seem like an insane but true thing about open relationships, they are indeed more prevalent than many people assume.

The article claims that open relationships don’t always lead to jealousy. Isn’t that just wishful thinking?

This is a natural question, as jealousy is often seen as an inevitable part of any romantic relationship, let alone an open one. However, one of the most insane but true things about open relationships is that many participants report experiencing compersion—feeling joy from their partner’s other connections—rather than jealousy. This isn’t just anecdotal; researchers like Dr. Elisabeth Sheff have extensively studied this phenomenon. That said, it’s not universal. Some people in open relationships do struggle with jealousy. The key is that they actively work through these feelings, often with more intentional communication than in many monogamous relationships.

Can open relationships really last longer than monogamous ones? That seems counterintuitive.

Many people share the same skepticism, as it does seem to defy conventional wisdom. Yet, the article cites a 2012 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships showing that some open relationships have lasted over 20 years. The reasons behind this insane but true fact about open relationships are complex. Strong communication skills, the ability to meet diverse needs without ending the primary relationship, and a sense of choosing their arrangement daily (rather than feeling trapped) all contribute. However, it’s crucial to understand that this doesn’t mean open relationships last longer on average, only that some do, challenging the assumption that they’re inherently unstable.

Isn’t the idea that open relationships “don’t always mean anything goes” just a way to make them seem more acceptable?

This is a common suspicion that emphasizing rules in open relationships is a tactic to make them appear more palatable to mainstream society. However, anyone who has researched or been part of an open relationship can attest that having clear boundaries is not just spin; it’s a necessity. The notion that open relationships can have more rules than monogamous ones is genuinely one of the most insane but true things about them.